The Woman he Loves
by Gwinny
Summary: Sherlock successfully pushes Molly out of his life but as the saying goes "You don't know what you've got till it's gone" and he wants his pathologist back.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Sadly I own nothing. This is unbeta'd and I would love if somebody would read my work and correct what I'm sure are my horrific grammatical mistakes.

Molly dashed out of 221B Baker Street and hailed a cab as quickly as she could. She sat back, with her eyes closed. When was she ever going to learn that Sherlock didn't want her? It was like trying to melt ice with snow, and it had to stop. She admitted to herself that nothing was ever going to change in their working relationship. He was only nice to her when he wanted something and fool that she was she let him manipulate her because she wanted to please him. It was time to move away from Sherlock for good. Him tearing her outfit, body and gifts to pieces and humiliating her in front of her friends and colleagues was the last straw. All these years she'd waited and hoped that he'd see her but she'd waited long enough. She had to find a way to find a life for herself away from Sherlock, no matter how badly it hurt.

After another humiliating encounter in the morgue where she realized his 'virgin' status was apparently untrue it had just made her change of heart all the more concrete. Her first step was to quit her job at St. Bart's. Stamford had been appalled that she would just leave her post without any notice. She found she could do it without a qualm, and she quickly found another job at King's College.

She moved out of her apartment, as it was one of Sherlock's boltholes, into an elegant house in Lambeth not too far away from King's. It was beautiful and bigger than anything she'd ever lived in before. She was finally in a world without Sherlock.

She loved her new house and her new job, there was still the lonely nights with just her and Toby. She worked long hours, and pushed herself hard. She found herself still thinking about Sherlock and decided she needed to do something at night, but what could she do?

It was a rainy Saturday morning and she'd decided to catch the tube to Marylebone to do some shopping when she ran into John Watson and his girlfriend Mary.

"Hi Molly," John greeted warmly. "I haven't seen you in ages have you been on leave from Bart's?"

"No, I left," Molly replied with a smile. It stung to think that John was only realizing that now had she truly blended that much into the white walls of the morgue?

John frowned. "But you loved Bart's. You were the best pathologist there"

That was true she had loved Bart's and it made her sad for a while. She looked down and clenched her small hands into her cardigan. "I wanted to move on with my career I'm now the Head of Pathology at King's," she said.

"Wow, well done Molly!" John congratulated her. "It must be out of your way to get to work though."

"I moved." She looked him straight in the eye and he smirked.

"I think he knows," he said gently. "He came home muttering about how none of his favorite boltholes were available."

"Please don't tell him where I am John, I don't want to see him at all." she asked quietly. "I've given up all of the places where I could see him. There won't be any more opportunities for him to embarrass me. I've decided to stop wearing out my heart on him."

John looked surprised as he thought Molly would end her days loving Sherlock Holmes but his coldness had finally driven her away. Mary looked at the pretty young woman before her with sympathy.

"It's for the best, you're too warm and loving to be with that cold-hearted git," she said with a laugh. "And the world is full of a lot more deserving men."

"I'm sorry about what he said about you and the fact that he apologized is really a red letter event. He must care for you in some odd Sherlock way. I've never heard him apologize to anyone." John remarked.

Molly's face scrunched up. "I don't care if I'm the only person he ever apologized to I've moved on and we both know he'll never change. Please John don't tell him about me, not that he cares anyway."

"Okay Molly," John promised faithfully.

Molly fielded a few more questions about where she lived and moving, and then they moved on. She smiled John was so nice and Mary seemed wonderful, they looked like a lovely couple, but she hoped there would be no more run ins with John as seeing him just made her think of Sherlock.

In the following weeks, she signed up for a writing course at her local college and in no time her writing skills were getting better and she decided to start writing papers.

"You're doing great," her instructor said as he read the beginning of her research paper. "You have a very natural way of writing and are very obviously intelligent, I was wondering if you'd like to get some coffee."

Molly groaned she wasn't sure she was ready for this but decided she was moving on with her life. She studied Simon he was tall and blonde with green eyes and looked completely different from Sherlock she smiled and accepted.

Molly became more confident with the kind companionship of Simon and her papers were being published in one of the UK's top medical journals. Her complexion became more rosy and she gained weight making her more healthy than ever.

She was at home writing one night when the doorbell rang, irritated at the interruption to her new work, she saved it on her computer and went to answer the door.

As she was distracted she didn't bother looking through the peep hole, she opened the door and froze in place when she saw Sherlock. She noticed that he was wearing his Belstaff that looked so good on him and wasn't surprised that he looked as attractive as he always did.

She looked up at him with a scowl and she didn't open the door any wider to invite him.

"What do you want?" she demanded.

He scowled. That was new and he felt a twinge of guilt. He'd used Molly's place as a bolthole to think in it was a warm and comforting space and she was always warm and welcoming. That warm welcome was now missing and replaced by cold ice.

"I came to find out how you were," he replied. "I was worried."

"Oh please, the only reason you've tracked me down is because you want something, that's all I ever was to you, somebody you could manipulate into getting you access to the morgue and body parts." She countered.

Taken aback by this new Molly Sherlock reverted to sarcasm. "Was it really necessary to leave Bart's short-handed in your desperate bid to shut me out of your life?"

She looked up at him and pretended shock "It wasn't because of you," she lied. "I wanted to progress in my career and I've now got a higher position."

His eyes searched her and Molly felt like he could see through her and being a detective he probably could. "Did getting a new job include shutting all of your friends out of it, nobody has heard from you and we were all worried about you. I finally manage to track you down and this is how you react."

"I want a new life Sherlock, I needed to move on from where I was."

"I know everything Molly, I know that you work at King's College Hospital as Head of Pathology, that you live here and are currently dating Simon Roberts who is an idiot by the way. I've read your articles and I know you're brilliant. I also know that you left your job, friends, and apartment because of your love of me. That I broke you with my harsh words at the Christmas party. But Molly I never intended to do that I was just speaking the truth and I did apologize. Why can't you just accept it and keep everything the same."

Molly's face had gone white as he spoke and the bitterness in his voice and disbelief made her head spin. "You think that one apology wipes out all the hurt you've done to me? You think that you can merely apologize once to me after years of ignoring me and using harsh words to push me away at every turn. That you have the audacity to turn up here and just say why can't you just get on with your life?"

In that moment she actually realized how little she meant to him. She'd loved this man the first time she'd met him. She'd seen him on drugs, go through rehab, and helped him whenever he needed her. And now, years after, she discovered how he looked at her as a little problem he used to his advantage. Something inside her died and she let out a careful breath. "So I mean so little to you, I'm just somebody you can use."

This harsh and demanding Molly was so unfamiliar to him that he was taken aback. "Of course, I knew you loved me, but that is your weakness. It's true I did use you to get what I needed at the morgue and I never needed your love." He missed the whiteness of her face and she opened the door to let him out.

This time he did notice the whiteness of her face and wondered in his logical mind why she looked so torn up, when all he said was the truth. She closed the door in his face and he stood on the doorstep suddenly calling her name.

The next morning she went through the motions of living and going to work but nothing would ever be the same again. She went home and suddenly took up drinking until she passed out on her floor mixing her drink with her tears.


	2. Chapter 2

_John, I think I've done something 'not good' _\- SH

_What've you done this time? - _JW

_I went to see Molly Hooper and I told her that I never cared for her is that 'not good' ?-_SH

There was no reply for about half an hour and Sherlock began to worry that something had happened to John.

_John? _\- SH

_You insensitive git! That woman WAS in love with you, but I'm pretty sure you've just cured her!- JW _

Sherlock didn't like how John had phrased love in the past tense as if all of Molly's affection for him had passed. When she'd left St. Bart's he'd been wild eyed and set out to find where she'd gone. He'd never really paid much attention to Molly but when she'd left he'd noticed a big void of where she used to be. The saying of 'You don't know what you've got till it's gone' echoed in his head.

_What do I do?_\- SH

_You go to her on bended knee and ask sincerely ask for her forgiveness for all the harsh and cruel things you've ever said to her. That is if she'll even listen to you which I highly doubt she will _\- JW

Not helping.

He headed to King's and found her in the mortuary but something was off about her. She was swaying and her movements were clumsy- why she was drunk. He cringed inside thinking about how this was his fault. He should have realized that when she'd gone pale and calm that something was wrong. He entered the morgue and Molly spun around to face him.

"Get out!" she screamed attracting other members of staff.

Sherlock was taken aback by her actions and froze in place.

"Get out, Mr. high and mighty Sherlock bloody Holmes!"

When he didn't move she came towards him and slapped him. He allowed her to land the blow as he felt he deserved it.

"Molly I -"

"Whatever it is you have to say, you can save it, I don't want to hear another one of your false apologies." Molly said breaking him off.

John had been right there was no way she was ever going to listen to him. "Alright I'm going."

"Molly are you alright?" Meena questioned, a friend she'd met at King's. "You seem to be a little bit off today.

"It's that bloody man! He came to see me last night and told me the years I'd spent loving him were a waste of my time and that he never even cared a little bit about me. I started drinking and I'm still a little drunk."

"Come on Molly, you're the best one of us here you can't let a man bring you down. You need to move on and promise me and yourself that you'll never let another man have that effect on you ever again."

"You're right Meena, never again will I ever punish myself over what a man thinks of me." Molly promised Meena and herself.

Sherlock returned to Baker Street to find John waiting for him. "She wouldn't listen would she?" John questioned.

"No, she wouldn't and she told me to get out." Sherlock said with a pout.

"What exactly did you say to her?" John questioned.

"I basically told her I never loved her and only used her... How it must have hurt her."

John let out a harsh breath. "Why didn't you just slap her it would have hurt less?"

"She slapped me."

"Good, well you finally got what you wanted, you successfully got Molly out of your life and she'll get over you. You can go back to being cold and lonely because God knows there is not another woman out there who will put up with your moods and coldness. Consider yourself off the list."

Sherlock didn't reply he just stared at the ceiling as he lay on the couch. Thinking of how different his life would be with Molly back in his world.


End file.
